Working as a janitor in a secret government laboratory, the mute Elisa (Sally Hawkins) finds herself falling for the lab’s latest asset (Doug Jones), who was recently brought in by a crazed colonel (Michael Shannon). As a piece of disclosure, this was a hastily-written piece that I just wanted to get written and posted before…

Rey (Daisy Ridley) finally meets with the legendary Jedi Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) and hopes to bring him out of his retirement in order to join the Resistance's battle against the First Order. However, she learns the lesson to never meet your heroes, all while the Dark Side beckons her. Elsewhere, Poe (Oscar Isaac) butts…

Based on the book of the same name, aspiring actor Greg Sestero (Dave Franco) meets aspiring actor/writer/director/probable vampire Tommy Wiseau (James Franco), and over the course of five years, their friendship burgeons and dwindles, all culminating in the world premiere of their film, the infamously/wonderfully terrible The Room. I will start this review by clarifying…

After attempting to steal the guitar of his late musical hero, Miguel, a young boy rejecting his family’s shoemaker ways, is transported into the world of the dead during Mexico’s annual Day of the Dead celebration. There, he must find his great-great-grandfather, the only member of his family who will send him back to the…

A CGI-monstrosity and his brood of poorly rendered-insect creatures take advantage of the world's inexplicable depression over the death of "beacon of hope" Superman in order to unite three MacGuffin-boxes in order to make a new version of his bland-looking planet. Wonder Woman, alongside obvious-CGI robot boy, punchline-machine Ezra Miller, Khal Surfer-Brogo*, a cardboard cutout…

About two years after the events of Age of Ultron, Thor (Chris Hemwsorth) returns home to Asgard, his search for infinity stones proving fruitless. After a confrontation with his long-imprisoned sister Hela (Cate Blanchett), Thor and his brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), are sent to a mysterious gladiator planet, controlled by Jeff Goldblum with Blue Face…

The more I think about having to review this movie, the more I realize it would be remarkably difficult to describe the basic plot without revealing things that border on spoiler territory. So please know I am trying, but I am likely to fail at a totally spoiler-free review. So, let that be your SPOILER WARNING…

One year after the events of the first film, The Kingsmen, a secret British spy organization, find themselves quickly depleted, with a series of bombs killing all but two members: Eggsy, codename Galahad (Taron Egerton) and Merlin (Mark Strong). As the survivors investigate the bombings, they join forces with the Statesmen, a similarly secret American…

Every twenty-seven years, the small town of Derry, Maine is haunted by a mysterious entity that kidnaps the town's children. In 1989, a group of seven thirteen-year-olds, called The Losers, decides to take matters into their own hands and begins to investigate the entity that has been haunting them in the form of Pennywise the Dancing…

THE REVIEW I WISH I COULD WRITE The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a “comedy” where a bunch of nothing happens, Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson are tragically unfunny, and, inexplicably, Gary Oldman is a warlord. Almost nothing works. It’s my least favorite thing I have watched this year, and I saw Alien: Covenant. This movie…